Are you one of these people who innocently believes that the things around you cause you to feel a certain way?
Do you believe that the results in your life or your unfulfilled expectations are circumstances out of your control?
Well I am here to tell you that you have created a powerless position for yourself and you stop yourself from creating the life you really want. Stay with me!!
Do you think that other people are lucky because they can have great lives, but that you are not fortunate enough to have one too?
I have good news!
That is all a lie!
Here is the truth!
Everything we encounter in our lives can be categorized and broken down into the CFTAR (Circumstances, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, and Results) model created by Brooke Castillo.
It takes any problem and allows us to see what is genuinely true.
It gives us accountability for our results, good and bad. That is very good news! It means that we can change the results we’ve created for ourselves. We are not powerless!
Because our thoughts about our circumstances cause our feelings, which cause our actions, which ultimately create results in our lives.
Let’s do a quick overview about each component.
Circumstances are the things that happen in the world around us—things we don’t control.
Examples include the weather, our pasts, and other people’s behavior. These are things we cannot directly change.
Thoughts are the sentences that constantly run through our minds.
Sometimes we’re aware of our thoughts, but often we’re not. We choose thoughts about the circumstances in our lives either consciously or unconsciously.
Examples include “I’m not good enough” or “My boss doesn’t appreciate my work.”
We can’t change our circumstances, but we can change what we think (our thoughts) about those circumstances.
Feelings are the emotions or vibrations we experience in our bodies, and they are directly related to the thoughts we’re thinking.
Examples include anger, sadness, excitement, etc. Don’t confuse feelings with physical, involuntary sensations such as hunger, cold, reflexes, and physical pain.
Emotions are voluntary because we can change what we feel by changing our thoughts.
Actions refer to behaviors, reactions, or inaction, and they are directly related to our feelings.
Examples include eating when we’re not hungry because we’re feeling lonely, avoiding interaction with the boss because we’re feeling angry, and withdrawing from relationships because we’re feeling sad.
If we want different actions, we can choose different feelings. I know that this seems untrue.
Results are the effects of our actions.
Examples include being overweight because we’ve been eating when we’re not hungry and having dysfunctional work relationships because we’re avoiding interactions with the boss.
Choosing different actions will lead us to different results.
Just the Beginning
I will share lots of examples over the next few posts about the model and show you how to coach yourself and see all parts of you. I can’t wait to show you your mind!